JUSTIN BROWN
Growing older is a beautiful journey, filled with opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and the refinement of one’s character.
Yet, it’s also a time when many men grapple with wavering self-confidence due to societal pressures and internalized expectations.
It’s crucial to realize that confidence isn’t tied to age but rather, how we perceive ourselves and our worth. Many times, it’s not the advancing years that erode our confidence, but the habits we unwittingly cling to.
Letting go of certain habits can open up a new world of self-assurance and vitality. Here are seven habits you might consider saying goodbye to if you wish to enhance your confidence as you journey through life’s later stages.
1) Comparing to others
Entering the later stages of life often ignites a tendency to compare oneself to others, especially among men. This could be in terms of career achievements, financial stability, physical health, or even familial relationships.
This habitual comparison often stems from societal expectations and the inherent human desire to fit in. However, it’s a habit that can seriously undermine self-confidence and self-worth as we age.
The key to remember is that everyone’s journey is unique and filled with its own set of challenges and triumphs. Comparing your path with someone else’s only leads to unnecessary stress and self-doubt.
Instead, focus on your personal growth, celebrate your own victories, and appreciate the wisdom that comes with age. Confidence blossoms when we embrace our individuality and learn to value our experiences, regardless of how they compare with others.
2) Bottling up emotions
Men are often socialized to suppress their emotions, to uphold the narrative of being strong, stoic figures. This habit, unfortunately, can carry over into our later years, resulting in a lack of self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
It’s essential to understand that acknowledging and expressing our emotions is not a sign of weakness, but rather a testament to our strength and authenticity. True confidence comes from being comfortable with all facets of our being, including our emotional states.
As we grow older, it becomes even more important to cultivate emotional intelligence – it enhances our relationships, boosts our self-esteem and provides a richer understanding of ourselves.
3) Clinging to outdated societal roles
As we age, we might find ourselves clinging to outdated societal roles, especially those related to masculinity. The societal expectation of men being the primary breadwinner or needing to maintain a certain physical appearance can instigate feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.
It’s paramount to understand that these roles are constructs, not reflections of our worth or ability. Authentic confidence comes from being true to oneself and not feeling the need to fit into predefined boxes.
I delve deeper into this topic in my video about giving up on the idea of constantly maintaining a “good person” persona. In it, I explore how this belief can lead to self-criticism, judgment of others, and even make us prone to manipulation. On the other hand, letting go of this ideal fosters a more authentic, fulfilling life.
4) Avoiding self-reflection
Growing older brings with it a wealth of experiences, lessons, and wisdom, but only if we’re willing to engage in honest self-reflection.
But dodging introspection?
That’s a roadblock to leveling up and feeling confident in our own skin. It keeps us spinning our wheels, replaying the same old tapes, and missing out on those sweet lessons life’s trying to teach us.
Hey, let’s get one thing straight: personal growth isn’t about hitting some mythical mark of flawlessness. It’s about owning our mess-ups, learning from the stumbles, and hustling to become a better version of ourselves, one slip-up at a time.
5) Neglecting physical health
It’s true: With age comes a higher risk of developing health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and arthritis. That’s why paying attention to our health becomes crucial for managing these risks and maintaining our overall well-being.
But unfortunately, too many guys are hitting snooze on this vital aspect of life, either because they’re buried under work or they’ve settled into a comfort zone.
You know what I’m talking about.
Long work hours, commuting, and household chores can leave little energy or time for hitting the gym or going for a run.
Let’s be real here. Ignoring our health sets us up for a whole bunch of issues. Our bodies don’t bounce back as quickly as they used to. Injuries take longer to heal, and illnesses can hit us harder.
Taking proactive steps to maintain our health is the only way to help minimize the impact of these inevitable challenges.
6) Resisting vulnerability
It’s a common misconception that vulnerability is a sign of weakness, particularly among men.
Many of us spend our lives building walls to shield ourselves from the perceived dangers of being vulnerable, such as rejection, judgment, or disappointment.
Contrary to this belief, vulnerability is a strength. Do you know why?
Because it opens up channels of genuine connection and growth. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we show others our authentic selves, flaws and all. This honesty creates deeper, more meaningful relationships, as people feel they can trust and relate to us on a human level.
That’s not all. Vulnerability is essential for personal growth. It takes courage to confront our fears and insecurities, but doing so allows us to learn and evolve.
7) Hoarding possessions
As we journey through life, we pick up material possessions along the way. Some of it, sure, holds sentimental value or serves a purpose.
But let’s be real, a lot of it just ends up cluttering our space and our minds.
Allow me to clarify.
First of all, accumulating a large number of possessions can lead to a literal cluttering of our living spaces. This clutter can make it difficult to navigate our homes comfortably.
Now, every possession we snag adds weight to our mental load—whether it’s maintenance, storage, or emotional attachment. The more possessions we have, the more mental energy is required to manage them all. This mental burden can contribute to feelings of stress and overwhelm.
That’s not all. We often develop emotional attachments to our possessions, associating them with memories, experiences, or our sense of identity. Letting go of these possessions can feel like letting go of a part of ourselves, leading to reluctance or anxiety about decluttering.
The journey to confidence
The seven habits we’ve explored—comparing oneself to others, bottling up emotions, clinging to outdated societal roles, avoiding self-reflection, neglecting physical health, resisting vulnerability, and hoarding possessions—all serve as barriers to this journey.
By shedding these habits, we pave the way to higher self-esteem and a more fulfilling life. It’s about embracing our individuality, acknowledging our emotions, valuing our physical health, and letting go of societal constructs and unnecessary possessions.
As we age, these shifts can help us cultivate a deeper sense of self-confidence. But remember, it’s not about becoming someone else; it’s about becoming the best version of yourself.
To continue exploring this journey with me and join over 20,000 others in living life with more purpose and freedom, consider subscribing to my YouTube channel.
Now, I leave you with a question: Which of these habits are you ready to say goodbye to in your pursuit of authentic confidence as you grow older?
Global English Editing
