NO! It’s not Betty
I didn’t think I would come back here.
Not like this.
Because the truth is… she was never new.
I’ve known her.
For a while.
Long enough to know the small things.
Long enough to like her… secretly.
She’s pretty.
Calm, but not boring.
Soft, but not weak.
Smart in a way that doesn’t need attention to be obvious.
And if I’m being honest…
I liked her first.
Before Betty.
But nothing happened.
No timing.
No moment.
No real chance.
And then I met Betty.
And it felt like something I shouldn’t ignore.
Because she liked me back.
And maybe that’s where everything started.
Because now, looking back…
I’ve realised something I didn’t see then:
I didn’t just like Betty for who she was.
I liked her because she reminded me of someone.
Her.
Not exactly the same.
But close enough.
Familiar enough.
And I think I held onto that.
Without even realising it.
Because it’s easier to love what is available… than to sit with what isn’t.
So I gave Betty what I had.
My time.
My attention.
My effort.
But maybe… not all of my honesty.
Because a part of me was somewhere else.
And now… I’m here again.
Talking to her.
The one I noticed first.
The one that stayed in the background of everything else.
And this time, it feels different.
Not rushed.
Not imagined.
Not forced.
Just… real.
And maybe the biggest difference is this:
I’m not confusing familiarity for connection.
I’m not projecting feelings.
I’m not trying to recreate anything.
Because this is not Betty.
And it never was.
She doesn’t have to compete with a memory.
She doesn’t have to live up to anything.
Because the truth is… there was never a comparison.
If anything, Betty was the comparison.
And now I understand something I wish I knew earlier:
Just because something feels close… doesn’t mean it’s the original.
Do I like her?
I think I always have.
Am I sure this time?
No.
But I’m clearer.
Clearer about what I feel.
Clearer about why I feel it.
Clearer about the difference between what is real… and what is just familiar.
And maybe this time… I’m not chasing a feeling.
I’m paying attention to a person.
Because at the end of the day… No one is Betty.
And maybe the truth is… she never was.
