…Are We Losing Ourselves?
“When the roots are deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.”
— African Proverb
Across the African continent, the structure of family—once the bedrock of identity, values, and survival—is fraying. The very principles that held communities together for generations are being quietly eroded, not by war or famine, but by a slow cultural drift.
While modernisation, technology, and globalisation have brought undeniable progress, they have also imported a set of values that often run counter to Africa’s own traditions. Now, a silent battle is underway: between ancestral legacy and imported lifestyles; between Ubuntu and individualism.
This is a story not of nostalgia, but of reckoning.
Someone once said, it is rather unfortunate, that in an age of hyper‑connectivity, one of the deepest ironies is this: the ties meant to bind us—the family—are slipping away. Family meals have been replaced by endless notifications, weekend visits by emoji‑laden messages. The laughter once echoing through ancestral homes has faded into silence, distance, and emotional isolation.
What has happened to family values—the core principles that once anchored households and communities?
Again, this erosion is neither sudden nor accidental. Instead, it has unfolded gradually from intersecting cultural, technological, and personal shifts. The ramifications are profound—affecting mental health, social cohesion, and the very fabric of society.
Ubuntu in Retreat: From Community to the Individual
In African thought, a person exists through others. The concept of Ubuntu—”I am because we are”—defined family as an extended network of care, reciprocity, and identity. Grandparents were storytellers and guides. Uncles and aunties were co-parents. Children were “ours,” not just “mine.”
But that social fabric is thinning.
“Western culture has taught us to prioritise the self at the expense of the collective, which in African terms is alien. We used to be raised by villages. Now, we barely raise our own children.”
— Prof. P.L.O. Lumumba
As modern education and media celebrate self-reliance, personal ambition, and nuclear households, African families are increasingly adopting values that prize individual success over communal well-being.
Urbanisation: The Village Has Moved, But Not With Us
In the post-independence decades, millions migrated from rural areas to cities in search of jobs, education, and opportunity. But in leaving the village, many also left behind the communal support systems that nurtured resilience and identity.
Today, in cities such as Lagos, Nairobi, and Johannesburg, traditional compound homes have given way to apartment blocks, where neighbours are strangers and grandparents live hours—or continents—away. Childcare is outsourced. Family meals are rare. And traditions struggle to survive in cramped, concrete spaces.
The United Nations reports that over 60 per cent of urban dwellers in Sub-Saharan Africa live in informal settlements or slums—isolated not just economically, but culturally.
The West on Our Screens: Culture in Crisis
Hollywood and Western media have become the dominant storytellers for Africa’s youth. Sitcoms, reality TV, and TikTok challenges present a worldview where elders are mocked, marriage is optional, and success is synonymous with wealth and fame.
A 2022 African Youth Survey found that 74 per cent of African youth identify more with Western ideals than traditional African values—especially in their views on relationships, family roles, and marriage.
As a result, we are witnessing:
• The rise of “soft life” culture, where comfort and status are prized above duty and sacrifice.
• A decline in respect for elders, as traditional roles are replaced by influencers and celebrity voices.
• The normalisation of individualism, in stark contrast to the African ethos of community interdependence.
Language and Rites: Silent Casualties
With English, French, and Portuguese dominating urban education and media, African languages are in decline. Yet within these indigenous tongues lie the proverbs, idioms, and metaphors that once taught children how to live, love, and lead.
Rites of passage—once sacred ceremonies marking the transition to adulthood—are now often viewed as “backward.” Western-style weddings have displaced community-based unions. Ancestral reverence is dismissed as superstition.
“A people who cannot speak their own language will soon forget their story. And if you forget your story, you will serve someone else’s.”
— Chinua Achebe
The Diaspora Dilemma: Remittances Over Relationships
Africa’s global diaspora sends over $95 billion annually in remittances to the continent, helping families survive and build. Yet this financial support often comes at an emotional cost.
— Parents leave children to be raised by relatives.
— Grandparents die without ever meeting their grandchildren.
— Relationships become transactional WhatsApp calls instead of shared memories.
In choosing opportunity abroad, many Africans are forced into a painful trade-off: prosperity at the cost of presence.
Can Family Values Be Reclaimed? A Cultural Reawakening
The answer is yes—but not through guilt or nostalgia. Instead, through cultural intentionality. Africa can modernise without Westernising. We can embrace progress without erasing our past.
Here’s how:
1. Revive Communal Living
Urban housing must integrate African social models—shared spaces, compound homes, and co-parenting networks that mirror traditional village life.
2. Teach African Values in Schools
Beyond math and science, African children should learn their history, languages, and philosophies. Courses in proverbs, oral literature, and indigenous ethics should be mainstream.
3. Modernise Traditional Rites
Cultural ceremonies can evolve without disappearing. Whether it’s digital storytelling nights with grandparents, or simplified urban-friendly rites of passage—what matters is continuity.
4. Rethink Success
We must redefine success to include emotional presence, intergenerational relationships, and community leadership. Raise children to value kinship, not just consumerism.
5. Use Technology to Bridge, Not Break
Technology must serve connection, not replace it. Families can build digital archives, organise virtual storytelling, or host monthly family Zooms that include elders in the village.
Africa’s Crossroads: Preserve or Perish
Family is not merely a social unit in Africa—it is a cultural institution, a sacred trust passed down through generations. To lose it is to lose not just warmth and support, but identity, heritage, and collective purpose.
“When the roots are deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.”
Yet if those roots are forgotten—if we fail to water them with love, respect, and remembrance—they will rot beneath the soil.
The question is not whether we will change, but whether we will remember who we are as we do.
Let us choose memory. Let us choose family. Let us choose Africa.
