By Lachlan Brown
Respect isn’t something you can demand. It’s something you earn—slowly, through your actions, your choices, and how you carry yourself.
And here’s the tricky part: respect can be lost in an instant. Often, it slips away not because of what we do, but because of what we say.
We live in a world of oversharing. Social media encourages us to post our every thought, every meal, every detail of our personal lives. But if you want to be truly respected—by your friends, your colleagues, or even strangers you meet—there are certain things you should keep to yourself.
Here are ten things you should never, ever reveal about yourself if respect really matters to you.
1. Your biggest insecurities
We all have insecurities. Maybe you worry about your looks. Maybe you think you’re not smart enough. Maybe you feel like you’re not successful compared to other people your age.
It’s normal to have these feelings. But constantly sharing your deepest insecurities with others can backfire. Instead of earning sympathy, you often lose respect.
People start to see you as fragile, unsure, or lacking in confidence. And while it’s fine to open up to a close friend or therapist, blasting your insecurities to anyone who will listen rarely helps.
Respected people usually acknowledge their flaws, but they don’t let those flaws define them. They project quiet confidence—even if they’re still working on themselves behind the scenes.
2. How much money you make
Money is a touchy subject. Whether you’re rich, broke, or somewhere in between, sharing the details of your finances almost always creates problems.
If you earn a lot, people may resent you or assume you’re arrogant. If you earn less, some might judge you or quietly look down on you.
Talking about money shifts conversations into a game of comparison. Respect, however, comes from your character, not your bank account.
The wisest move? Keep your income private. Live well, be generous, and let your lifestyle speak for itself.
3. Your bedroom details
There’s a reason intimacy is called “private life.” Talking too openly about your sex life might seem funny, bold, or attention-grabbing in the moment. But in reality, it usually makes people uncomfortable.
Even worse, it can make you look immature or lacking in boundaries.
Respect is tied to discretion. When you protect the privacy of your relationships, you show respect not just for yourself, but for your partner too.
4. Your grudges and resentments
Let’s be honest—everyone has people who’ve hurt them or rubbed them the wrong way. But constantly talking about how much you dislike someone, or how unfairly you were treated, doesn’t make you look strong.
It makes you look bitter.
When you reveal how much someone gets under your skin, you give that person power over you. And people notice.
Respected individuals know how to let go of grudges. They may acknowledge hurt, but they don’t live inside it.
5. Embarrassing mistakes you haven’t learned from
Sharing a story about a past failure can actually earn you respect—if you show how you grew from it.
But talking about embarrassing mistakes without any sign of growth? That’s a different story.
For example, bragging about how many jobs you’ve been fired from, or how often you’ve ruined relationships, doesn’t make you sound funny or relatable. It makes you sound reckless.
Respected people own their mistakes, but they also demonstrate that they’ve moved forward. If you haven’t learned the lesson yet, it’s usually better to stay quiet.
6. Extreme or controversial opinions
Respect doesn’t come from being shocking for the sake of it. Yes, it can feel good to “say it like it is.” But dropping your most extreme political, religious, or cultural opinions in the wrong context often makes people tune you out—or worse, lose trust in you.
That doesn’t mean you can’t have strong beliefs. Of course you can. But respected people know when and where to share them. They understand that thoughtful timing and empathy carry more weight than blunt provocation.
7. How much you dislike yourself
A little self-deprecating humor can be charming. It makes you relatable and down-to-earth.
But if you constantly talk about how “stupid,” “ugly,” or “useless” you are, people eventually stop laughing. They start believing you.
Respect begins with self-respect. If you don’t treat yourself with dignity, why should others?
By all means, stay humble. But never make self-hatred your main personality trait.
8. All your personal drama
We’ve all got drama—family arguments, messy breakups, stressful work stories. But if you spill every detail of your personal chaos to anyone who will listen, people begin to see you as unstable.
It’s not that you should hide everything. Being human means being vulnerable sometimes. But respected people know how to set limits. They don’t turn every conversation into a running episode of their own soap opera.
Share enough to be authentic. Hold back enough to maintain dignity.
9. Big dreams you haven’t acted on
There’s something satisfying about telling people your big plans: the book you’ll write, the company you’ll start, the marathon you’ll run. The problem is, sharing those dreams too early can make you look like someone who talks more than they act.
Psychologists call it “social reality.” Talking about a goal tricks your brain into feeling like you’ve already achieved something, which makes you less likely to follow through.
Respected people let their results do the talking. Reveal your dream once you’ve put in the work—or better yet, after you’ve achieved it.
10. Secrets that aren’t yours to share
This one is simple. If someone trusted you with private information, don’t repeat it.
Few things kill respect faster than being seen as someone who gossips or betrays confidence. When you share a secret that isn’t yours, you’re telling the world, “I can’t be trusted.”
On the other hand, if people know you keep their private information safe, your reputation strengthens. Respect grows when you prove yourself reliable.
Why this all matters
So why does it matter what we reveal about ourselves? Because respect is built on trust, discretion, and boundaries.
People respect those who know when to speak and when to stay quiet. They respect those who can open up selectively, without oversharing every insecurity, every grudge, or every messy detail of their lives.
Being respected doesn’t mean hiding who you are. It means choosing carefully what parts of yourself you show to the world.
The bottom line? Speak with purpose. Share what builds connection. Protect what matters most.
Because in the end, respect isn’t just about how others see you—it’s about how you see yourself.
Global English Editing
